August 10, 2011 | | Comments 11

Top Ten Things Barack Obama Must Do To Regain The Progressive Black Vote

by Demetrius D. Walker

  1. Get out of Libya.  C’mon son… Going to Libya was a George Bush move.  We’re supposedly over there to protect their citizens from the big, bad, boogeyman that is Qaddafi (Gadhafi, Khaddafi, etc. depending on the media’s mood today).  Before Barack and the Frenchies started dropping million dollar bombs, Libyans enjoyed a pretty damn high standard of living. I mean free education, housing, healthcare, access to clean drinking water, a 78% literacy rate, and life expectancy of 70.2 years doesn’t sound too bad.  On the real, it sounds a lot better than Harlem, Compton, and Houston’s 3rd Ward to me.  But let’s not forget that Libya boasts the largest oil economy on the African continent… Real slick B.O.
  2. Punch Herman Cain in the nose.  Black progressives may have a few issues with Obama, but there’s no Negro more despised than Herman “Uncle Ruckus” Cain.  Son had the nerve to say cities have the right to tell Muslims they can’t build mosques where they want?!   
  3. Get BET to stop playing Baby Boy every other night like it’s a got damn sitcom!  Honestly, progressive Black people try to avoid BET like the plague, but for real yo… this insanity has to cease.  Get Michelle a workout show or something.  I know some brothers that would tune in for that 😉
  4. Bring the iPhone to Sprint.  Seriously, have you ever taken note of the Sprint Store demographics?  Negroes always outnumber others in line at Sprint.  We’re the only ones still loyal to this Godforsaken cell phone carrier.  Progressive Blacks covet new cell phones like Ray Ray covets Jordans.
  5. Apologize to Cornel West.  Brother West is that dude man.  He always keeps it real. You let that brother show his fro at 65 campaign events and then you started ignoring his calls?  Don’t front like you didn’t get his texts either Barry.  That’s straight up triflin’.
  6. Stop hanging out with Sharpton.  While we appreciate you subsidizing his Lap-Band procedure, there’s just something about the new, skinny, turkey necked Sharpton we don’t trust. 
  7. Make a real decision.  Playing referee between the tea sipping GOP (see what I did there) and the sex crazed Democratic party is corny.  We’re sick of all this “let’s sit down and talk, come to a consensus, kumbaya, peace party” BS.  You keep letting that dude Boner with his fluorescent ass ties play you like a chump.  Show that you have some balls… chocolate, salty balls that people can suck on if they don’t like your decision making. 
  8. Leave Afghanistan.  You already put the dezzy to bin Laden’s turban and gave him a cement shoe bath.  What more can be accomplished in this “War on Terror?”
  9. Acknowledge that Black people have it worse now than we have in decades.  We know you’re the president of the whole damn country, but do we not count as loyal supporters?  Wall Street had its needs met, the oil and gas industry is ballin, and Gays can now serve openly in the military.  What about your core constituency Barack?  The wealth gap has increased, along with dropout rates and unemployment. Nobody is hurting as bad as Black America.  Could you imagine what would happen to the GOP if they ignored their Christian base?  We’d have a whole bunch of Norways going down….
  10. Free Mumia.  So far Obama has pardoned 17 people during his whole presidency.  What were these people pardoned for you ask?  Slangin meth, stealing cable, distributing alligator hides, mutilating coins, and a bunch of other dumb s**t.  Worst of all, most of these people were convicted 20 years ago and have already served their weak ass sentences.  How about saving somebody that actually needs saving Barack?  If Mumia was freed it would be pretty tough for the Black intelligentsia to complain Obama was out of touch with the community.   

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  1. LIZ says:

    NOTHING Leave him be, fair weather voters should just go to their Repug Party and see how that works for them!!!

  2. Bangla Songs says:

    Repug Party and see how that works for them!!!

  3. Thanks for this post. Lots of great info here. I just shared this information on my Facebook page. Thanks.

  4. Diesel Oil says:

    I voted for Obama. Should I vote for him again or should we vote for a different Democrat when the next election comes up? This wealth gap crap has to stop. This is why I voted for Obama in the first place. We need somebody who was not born with a silver spoon in their mouth that can help fight for the middle class.

  5. pawnbroker says:

    the libratarians believe alot of what you are sayin. The democrats and the republicans have run this country in the ground. come’on now …deals for cocaine with cartels to addict and kill people and families in exchange for guns to kill our brothers and sisters in Mexico??? REALLY? come on now? if you’ll help we can legalize marijuana and hemp so everyday folks can get money.

    unless you like rich people ridin around eatin steak while we starve? can you imagine growin 50k a year on the side legal? both parties are at fault, somebodies gettin paid off and it has to be judges and cops along with senators etc.

    we need to stop puttin so much money into war that’s killin folks and more into education and allow more political parties but two. with all the billions saved fightin a fairytale drug wars,real war, organized crime, and dirty folks we can survive this…. I believe we might be in the last days people. Jesus is coming after satan like HE said in Matt 24 Luke 21 and Mark 13. wonder if the same dirty people who nailed HIM to the cross will be in power under the political parties we may know???? the one the CIA media doesn’t talk about much maybe the one to really shake things up. it’s worth 4 years to give them a chance. look into Ron Paul

  6. If you really understand what is going on, it is greed, not Democrat, not Republican white or Black…..When was the last time you heard a politician speak of what either party believes in?

  7. Dr. Vibe says:

    Good post. It looks like Obama is going to win by default due to the Republicans ineptness. But, we need to realize that the president is not as powerful as we think. In a capitalist society, business is more powerful than government.

  8. Lawyer Tax says:

    I really like Herman Cain. It is unfortunate that these accusers can come out of the woodwork and lob these accusations against him. No matter what party you are part of no one deserves to be falsly accused. I don’t know if he did it or not but it seems very odd.

  9. Odell Tesh says:

    Ron Paul is a doctor. I think that that qualifies him a specialist when it comes to healthcare. What do the other candidates know about it? He has been there and done that. I like my doctor and I am sure that Dr. Paul is knowledgable just like my doctor. It is about time we had a smart, honest person in the White House.

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